Incredible Tales

How much weight have I put on since I came over to the UK?

The hand on the scales probably doesn't say as much as what I'm going to reveal.

Went lingerie shopping today. Found out today (years and years later after my first bra) that I'm now a 36B 34D.

It's either I've put on that much weight; OR the auntie selling Triumph in The Store just simply didn't know what she was doing trying to squeeze me into the wrong size.

I knew something was wrong...

The new bras are HUMONGOUS, I tell you. Such a vast difference from what I had. When I put them together just for a comparison, it's like half the size of what I bought today. What a revelation!!!

And I saw loads of weird people in La Senza today. (I think generally people like that exist anywhere in the world but it's so hilarious when you do see the things they do in person.)

Group 1:
A couple, the wife/gf/partner is trying to pick a style when the guy said, "Is that what you're wearing? That is unbelievable. These things are as big as my head! It's a hammock, not a bra!". It wasn't in a low key manner, and there're loads of people in the shop at that time. Lady said, "I've already gone down 2 sizes from what I used to be!"
OKAY..............
*silently floats away from this weird pair*

Group 2:
A family of 3, with a suspicious looking father and a girl around 6-7 years old. Was walking behind them trying to get out of the shop when the father was OBVIOUSLY blocking my way. Apparently he was "admiring" the displays and items in the shop. The mother hissed, "Stop touching all the women's underwear!". He said, "I can't help it, they're so pretty! I'm trying to imagine you in them."
EWW.......
Let me explain what is wrong in this situation. No 1, I think this is something you generally wouldn't say out loud in the presence of loads of strangers because I don't think they really wanna know, and No 2, definitely not something you will have a conversation about in front of your 6-7 year old daughter.

Group 3:
Actually, this is not a group, it's just one person. I was trying to get past her when she picked up something and started scrutinizing it. (I don't know why but that's what it seemed like to me at that time.) I said excuse me. She frantically droped the bra back on the rail and scuttled away, looking terrified.
Am I that scary? I think not.

And many others that I don't think it's worth mentioning.

Come to think of it, it was extremely crowded today. Probably it's the sun, that's why everyone's like out there to fight for that patch of land for that bit of sunshine before it's gone.