...that things are spiralling out of control.
Why is it that you seem to be in grasp of what is going on, and suddenly, you just lose all of it, and throw yourself into it together without realising it?
How can all of this happen altogether in a single instant? (OK, maybe not all at once but the realisation hits *wham* just like that)
And then you are acutely aware of everything, yet you can't (or probably didn't) do anything about it. But then again, it has been more than one instance that I have wondered if there is anything I can do even when I wanted to.
This is not something I readily admit but I hate being not in control.
Yes, call me a control freak or any other whats-not that you can come up with, but I absolutely loathe this feeling. That feeling of......helplessness......backed into a corner......walking into a trap....
I'm not stupid, neither am I thick. But this is just like the time when you're driving on the highway and you noticed that you have to brake and you found the brakes aren't really working that well? And then you start to panic. And do something stupid. Or something worse.
See? This is why I don't want to see that. Nobody can think when they panic.
I really need to get out of this.
Wednesday 9 September 2009
Monday 7 September 2009
A little encouragement
For me.
For those who don't already know, I'm charged with the duty of being the target for new product development at my company.
The theme? Personalised Health Management.
Of course, this will be a multi-faceted product but what other forms of wellness / health centre is complete without its *ahem* weight management *ahem* similar sort of programme?
Well, so that's me. In the business development meeting, and then I probably accidentally wore that shirt of mine with the imaginary dartboard figure, and so I got a bullseye. No, correction. The bullseye was me.
So on I went along with the program, half expecting it not to work since all these things don't exactly work for me, never had, and I never expected it to anyway.
But 10 days down the line, am I pleasantly surprised that I've actually made some progress. And now a little bit more.
I don't exactly know how much to expect from this, but every little thing actually does help. Just like some encouragement to go on. So I'm fairly pleased with myself for the effort, coz it does need that bit of motivation in things like this.
So after the first results meeting, they've decided to do this again, so to see to what extent it's going to continue to work. For me, except for the tiny bit of discomfort, it will be a fair price to pay for the favorable end result.
For those who don't already know, I'm charged with the duty of being the target for new product development at my company.
The theme? Personalised Health Management.
Of course, this will be a multi-faceted product but what other forms of wellness / health centre is complete without its *ahem* weight management *ahem* similar sort of programme?
Well, so that's me. In the business development meeting, and then I probably accidentally wore that shirt of mine with the imaginary dartboard figure, and so I got a bullseye. No, correction. The bullseye was me.
So on I went along with the program, half expecting it not to work since all these things don't exactly work for me, never had, and I never expected it to anyway.
But 10 days down the line, am I pleasantly surprised that I've actually made some progress. And now a little bit more.
I don't exactly know how much to expect from this, but every little thing actually does help. Just like some encouragement to go on. So I'm fairly pleased with myself for the effort, coz it does need that bit of motivation in things like this.
So after the first results meeting, they've decided to do this again, so to see to what extent it's going to continue to work. For me, except for the tiny bit of discomfort, it will be a fair price to pay for the favorable end result.
Sunday 6 September 2009
It's been a Wii bit fun
You know...my hands are practically hanging off my shoulders at the moment.
The reason?
Wii...
This is not the first time, but looking at the last time when I played Wii, which was in February, I ended up worse on previous occasions. It's just so annoying coz Sunday's cleaning day and I've hardly got enough strength to carry things around and so I've got to order people around to do it instead. (OK, maybe this is the only perk I get out of cleaning the house this week)
It's like really nice to play party games on Wii because loads of people can take part. But to have worked over the weekend, then play Wii....expecially boxing...OK, that's probably a bit too much. And I'm like slightly regretting it right now. I'm like so tired right now! (Maybe it's also for the fact that I got back only at 4) but then again my body doesn't remotely feel like mine at the moment and I seem to feel like it's detached from me. HAHA!
But then again, it's been fun, and I'm not the only one who's "suffering" the consequences. So, looking on the bright sight, it's not too bad at all! :)
The reason?
Wii...
This is not the first time, but looking at the last time when I played Wii, which was in February, I ended up worse on previous occasions. It's just so annoying coz Sunday's cleaning day and I've hardly got enough strength to carry things around and so I've got to order people around to do it instead. (OK, maybe this is the only perk I get out of cleaning the house this week)
It's like really nice to play party games on Wii because loads of people can take part. But to have worked over the weekend, then play Wii....expecially boxing...OK, that's probably a bit too much. And I'm like slightly regretting it right now. I'm like so tired right now! (Maybe it's also for the fact that I got back only at 4) but then again my body doesn't remotely feel like mine at the moment and I seem to feel like it's detached from me. HAHA!
But then again, it's been fun, and I'm not the only one who's "suffering" the consequences. So, looking on the bright sight, it's not too bad at all! :)
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